Doomsday (R: 2008)

Doomsday (2008: R)
Director: Neil Marshall. Starring: Caryn Peterson … Vagrant Girl; Adeola Ariyo … Nurse; Emma Cleasby … Katherine Sinclair; Christine Tomlinson … Young Eden Sinclair; Vernon Willemse … David / Gimp; Paul Hyett … Hot Dog Victim; and much more.
Alright, this one is a poor-hash of several flicks: Terminator meets Mad Max meets Escape from New York meets I am Legend. Can you get more creative? please? A lethal virus spreads throughout England infecting millions and killing hundreds of thousands. The authorities block off London and parts of Britain in hopes to quarantine the threat. The country turns to fear and chaos and creates their own world and civilization within the walls. Just like the premise and worldview from the flick “Escape from New York”. Three decades later and the Reaper virus surfaces in another major city outside the quarantine area. So an elite group of specialists go into the zone to retrieve a cure - and thus is the premise of the story. Sound familiar? too much. Yes. There are some artsy moments, and some of the costumery rock, but all in all this film lacks everything. Rating: 2 stars out of 5.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (PG-13, 2008)

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (PG-13: 2008)
Director: Steven Spielberg. Starring: Harrison Ford … Indiana Jones, Cate Blanchett … Irina Spalko, Karen Allen … Marion Ravenwood,
Shia LaBeouf … Mutt Williams, Ray Winstone … ‘Mac’ George McHale, John Hurt … Professor ‘Ox’ Oxley, Jim Broadbent … Dean Charles Stanforth, Igor Jijikine … Dovchenko, and many more.
Hmmm … where would one begin? I was totally dissatisfied with this film, and I am a big Indiana Jones fan. It was flaky, stupid, and literally had a dumb plot. The plot: Famed archaeologist/adventurer Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones is called back into action when he becomes entangled in a Soviet plot to uncover the secret behind mysterious artifacts known as the Crystal Skulls. The mere fact that “crystal skulls” historically are most likely fakes, should give you a hint. As follows the rest of the alien plot. The acting was also very so-so. Sorry Harrison, but you need to re-think this role. Certainly none of the Indiana Jones films have an ounce of reality, but this one was extremely far-fetched and the Aliens from Roswell crystal skull and skeletons having magnetic powers was just idiotic. Most of the film was parody and nostalgic in-jokes. It had a few laughing moments, but overall, i just felt like leaving and demanding a refund. Don’t waste your money, not even at the video store. Rating: 1 star out of 5. Don’t see. Viewed 5/23/08.

Bee Movie -”B Movies” :)

DreamWorks Studio returns with its latest animated movie about life in a bee colony. As with earlier DreamWorks productions such as the “Shrek” trilogy and “Finding Nemo”, “Bee Movie” contains the necessary elements for box office success - a creative storyline, plenty of humour and excellent CGI.

The time has come for Barry B. Benson (whom Jerry Seinfeld lent his voice to), a newly graduated bee to pick a career in Honex, the beehive corporation with its elaborate and intricate system, in which he will Work for the rest of his life. Perplexed upon learning that all bees are to stay in the same job forever, be it a stirrer or a Pollen Jock (a jock-like bee whose duty is to go out and pollinate the flowers while extracting nectar), Barry leaves the hive for the first time on a special trip and gets himself involved in a series of near-death events. At the end of the day, he becomes infatuated with a human florist (voiced by Renee Zellweger) who saved him from being crushed to death.

On a subsequent trip to the outside world, Barry discovers that human beings actually consume honey, the precious resource and result of the entire bee population’s hard work, and files the mother of all lawsuits - bees versus humans.

From the start to the end, “Bee Movie” garners laughter almost on a regular basis throughout. Besides the usual visual comedy that appeals mainly to the children in the audience, there was also something for the grown-ups, in the form of comedic dialogue and tongue-in-cheek humour.

This film is very inventive in the way it creates the world of the bees and their way of life, casting a humorous light in explaining insect behaviours. It also parodies the human race on many levels, inciting many laughs in the process.

The working environment in Honex feels a little like Asian mentality. Job hopping is not really encouraged, and just three days after graduation, Barry’s parents are concerned that Barry has not started working or even decided on a career choice. Also, the way humans unethically steal the valuable resources from the honey - by creating artificial hives where they exploit bees they kidnapped to work and create honey - mimics the way civilised parts of the world thoughtlessly deplete natural resources for their narcissistic needs.

In featuring the voice of many famous actors and actresses, “Bee Movie” is bound to attract many movie-goers. The interesting cameos add value to the movie, especially with Sting playing himself, sued in the courtroom of Judge Bumbleton (Oprah Winfrey) for using a word associated with insects for his stage name. Ray Liotta also provides the voice for a character as himself, who in the show is a shrewd owner of a massive Honey brand. Chris Rock’s voice is used for Mooseblood, a mosquito who later becomes a lawyer. Larry King speaks for the Bee Larry King, also a talk show host but in the bee kingdom.

Rising to expectations of animation, the CGI here is brilliant, with extremely realistic depictions of landscape scenery and facial expressions. Particularly, on Barry’s first trip out of the hive, the aerial scenes of the bees flying across the city were breathtaking and impressive.

This is an easily enjoyable and perfect entertainment for the whole family, since it caters across different levels, and you can’t go wrong when every one is laughing so hard.

Return In Red

Return In Red is a film I just happened to run into. It, to my knowledge was not advertised,nor had I seen any trailers. I watched it on the word that the end would haunt me long after the movie ended.

Well I can tell you that isn’t quite true, and although I don’t regret seeing the film, I can see the only haunting this movie will do, is to make others wonder why they bothered watching it at all.

I believe in giving low budget films a chance. Just because a film doesn’t sport known actors or have the best budget does not mean it’s not going to be good.

I will not ever feel a desire to see this film a second time, however it did peak my interest, and I did start to care about some of the characters.

It’s a mild sci-fi horror flick about experiments done to people in this very small depressing town, and that’s before any murders or suicides occur. If you’ve got an afternoon with nothing else to do give it a try and see for yourself.

Residential Evil Review on DVD – Thumbs Down

Well, I just had to see what all the hype was about Residential Evil and got the DVD. Wow what a surprise. I knew that this would be a zombie based movie but had no idea how zombie based it would be. Hmmmm.

I found the first part of the movie to be quite good. The opening scenes really catch your attention. There was a lot of graphic gore in the movie that I think would’ve had the same effect without the quite as much gore. Unfortunately as the movie drug on, I began to lose interest.

There was little character development to make you feel much emotion at all for any of the characters. The focus was on the zombies and their feeding frenzies. I learned very little about the secret company and really could care less who escaped and who didn’t. Unfortunately, I would have to give this movie all the thumbs down.

Jackass Number Two Review

I have to admit that I haven’t laughed as hard as I did through this movie. It is very graphic and not for the faint of heart. There are times that some of the scenes are so gross that you really have to look away from the screen. But then at the same time if you are like me, you can’t look away from the screen. Why? Because it’s hard to believe that these guys are really pulling the different stunts that they pull!

I was in horror and shock when one of the guys got branded with a body part but moved several times. Another time I was completely grossed out but couldn’t look away when a leech was attached to one of the guy’s eyeball. You will see things that you would never dream of. You will see things that you wish you’d never seen. And you will see things that are so crazy that you have to see it again to believe that it really happened.

Tamara (R: 2005)

Tamara (R: 2005)
Directed by Jeremy Haft. Starring: Jenna Dewan …. Tamara Riley, Katie Stuart …. Chloe,
Chad Faust …. Jesse, Bryan Clark …. Shawn, Melissa Elias …. Kisha, Gil Hacohen …. Patrick
http://www.tamaramovie.com/. Teenage geek girl falls for her teacher - he turns her down and it drives her crazy enough to do a love ritual to “make” him fall in love with her and to have the power of persuasion to make anyone do things for her. She chickens out when it calls for blood, but a high school prank from the jocks who want to get even with her, accidentally kills her and spills her blood, making the spell complete. She returns from the dead to get revenge - but no longer a ugly duckling, but turn-everyone’s-head beautiful with a rage not to be toyed with. It’s B-rate, but I like the plot and the storyline. But definitely a at-home horror. Rating 4 stars out of 5. Viewed 1/2/07.

Black Christmas (R: 2006)

Black Christmas (2006: Rated R) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0454082/ Directed by Glen Morgan. Starring: Katie Cassidy …. Kelli, Michelle Trachtenberg …. Melissa, Mary Elizabeth Winstead …. Heather, Lacey Chabert …. Dana, Kristen Cloke …. Leigh, Andrea Martin …. Ms. Mac, Crystal Lowe …. Lauren, and many more. What a let down (well honestly I did expect a b-rate flick) and while in typical hack-n-slash style, a remake of the original, and quite better than the original, though that’s not saying much. A twisted youth grown up escapes the mental institution just in time to return home for Christmas and to do a murdering buffet of succulent eye balls and human flesh cookies. Not recommended. Rating: 2 stars out of 5. Viewed 12/29/06.

Scarecrow: Slayer (R: 2003)

Scarecrow: Slayer (2003: Rated R) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0353984/ Starring: Tony Todd …. Caleb Kilgore, Nicole Kingston …. Mary Anderson, David Castro …. Karl, Jessica Mattson …. Sheila, Steven Schultz …. Gavin; and many others. In class with the first movie, another B-rate rot your brain flick. The Scarecrow is resurrected by two fraternity boy pledges who are sent on a mission to steal the Scarecrow. The farmer who wrote a book about the infamous legend, sees the scarecrow, and shoots at him, but in reality kills one of the frat boys. The frat boy’s soul gives life to the scarecrow and goes on a murderous rampage, including a mission-impossible fraternity house massacre as he seeks his undying love for his girlfriend that he plans to make Mrs Scarecrow by killing at the foot of a newly crafted scarecrow woman. B-rate horror at its finest. Those liking fine cinema, should avoid this one like a bug-infested corn field. Rating: 1.5 stars out of 5. Viewed 10/07/06.