Alvin and the Chipmunks

What do chipmunks and Styrofoam snowball have in common? They are both harmless, cute and very light. Don’t believe what I just said until you watch “Alvin and the Chipmunks”. It’s nothing more than a mix of tedious live action and uninspiring computer animation based upon the so-called originality music-and-cartoons franchise that Ross Bagdasarian started in 1958.

Dave Seville (Jason Lee) is a struggling songwriter in Los Angeles. After Dave’s latest rejection at Jett Records, three chipmunks that were hiding in the company’s Christmas tree follow him home. When Dave discovers he’s got a pest problem, he becomes bewildered. But when he learns that Simon, Alvin and Theodore (mischievous Alvin, brainy Simon and dozy Theodore, voiced by Justin Long, Matthew Gray Gubler and Jesse McCartney) can talk, Dave becomes inspired. He writes a Christmas song for the chipmunks to sing, and he offers the act to Ian (David Cross), an old friend who’s become a mean and sleazy record-company mogul.

Soon enough, Alvin and the Chipmunks are touring arenas around the country and climbing up the charts with a sound that’s like hip-hop on helium. Dave strongly urges his little friends to squirrel away their savings, but the toy-crazed friends would rather go nuts. Ian wants to take the chipmunks away from Dave, and put them on a grueling tour schedule such young creatures are not cut out for. So greedy is Ian that he pushes them to exhaustion, and out of Dave’s life.

The storyline is astoundingly predictable. I know it’s a film for kids, but there needs to be something for parents too and there just isn’t. Of course we get the message: Commercialism will consume what really matters to your life. The practices, methods, aims, and spirit of commerce or business are so awful and crass. (”They’re chipmunks who talk,” says David Cross. “People will come.” I’ve never heard a movie express the fervent hopes of its producers with such disarming directness). We all get it but there should be something inventive to say about fame or family, let alone about the weirdness of talking animals. The script simply relies on slapstick gags about rodents running amok. I do not find the movie funny in the slightest; unless you consider fart jokes that seem to have no end hilarious. Director Tim Hill still integrates the computer-generated imagery with the live action no better than he did in “Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties.” Even though I’m greatly thankful to see that there’s less than the usual amount of rude humor in the movie, director Tim Hill, with his inability to inject life into proceedings, is just frustrating. The chipmunks don’t actually look particularly good, either. Too often they seem rather flat, and they tend to blur a lot when they move. Even worse, the voice effects absolutely backfire because they all sound the same and it’s occasionally impossible to work out what they’re saying.

“Alvin and the Chipmunks”, however, remains watchable thanks to the talented comic actor Jason Lee and the cuteness of the Chipmunks. Jason Lee is a very likeable actor and he makes a fine comic foil for the Chipmunks, even if his facial expressions are stretched to breaking point. But like the critters in the title, “Alvin and the Chipmunks” has just got a peanut-size brain, so the grown-ups in the audience won’t find much here. This is an enjoyable family film that offers nothing new. Walking out of the cinema, I was trying to figure out how people can enjoy this mess on screen and the only think I can think of is get the DVD, sit your kids in front of it with a babysitter, and go out for the evening. That’s the only way you will find “Alvin and the Chipmunks” pleasant.